I can't believe this

I was so ready and determined to fast after my binge session I had today, but then I did it again!!
I'm so tired of this cycle!
I keep thinking 'Oh, I already ate today so why not.' but thats not what I really want. I keep letting food take over me. Then I feel so worthless... I can't even control what I eeeeaat. Why is it so easy to eat, but so hard to restrict from it, it makes me so irritated but in the end its all my fault and I deserve to get fat. I will loose it though. I need motivation, I need someone to tell me I don't need fooood.