Wednesday, December 12, 2012

These thought; Is it just me?

When I did the Cabbage Soup Diet
Sometimes I'll read online about eating disorders since i've never really been diagnosed. And as I read about it, it makes me want to diet even more. It gives me a sense of motivation. I thought that this was because I want an excuse. I want some excuse to why I binge and purge frequently. Why I can't control myself. So reading about ED makes me want to purge even more. Not because I WANT to have an eating disorder, but because I want a reason to why I'm like this. To why food and weight loss have taken over my life. So i'm scared that If I don't have the symptoms, I'd just be a fat girl who can't control what she's eating and doesn't deserve to be here.

I used to be in control. I don't know whats happened...


  1. That's exactly what I feel about this case. I want to get worse because I want a reason, and I want someone to care. If I'm not skinny, everyone thinks it'll pass and that it's nothing wrong. I've not been diagnosed either, and that makes it harder to cry for help.

    Take care x

  2. I totally get it huni!
    But even though we do have an ED is sometimes doesn't feel like it. When I look in the mirror I can't see my ED. It's all in my head and my body does not reflect on my mind. And that's what I want..

    For how long did you do the cabbage soup diet for?
    Love Jo <3

  3. I totally understand where your coming from. Thank you for your comment on my blog yesterday. I was really sad and I love getting comments. Take Care sweetie, lots of love, Lucie x

  4. I understand what you mean. But please please, if you just started purging, try to stop yourself. Even if all you do is binge, you would still be diagnosed with an eating disorder and would qualify for some sort of treatment if you ever sought help. Purging is what does a lot of the physical damage bulimia causes, and once you're in the swing of things, it's so hard to give up.
    I feel like such a hypocrite saying that, since I've felt what you're talking about in this post, and I've done the exact opposite of my advice. But things only got worse because of it.

  5. Thank you everyone for the comments. I'm so glad that i'm not alone. You guys give me hope to getting thinner : ) I've been doing my best to stop purging and thank you for your concern Emily<3