Sunday, December 2, 2012

I wish

I wish I could live alone while Im trying to loose weight... My family isn't really the healthy type so there's always snack foods. But I the same time I hate blaming my family when its my fault I can't eat right.
I hate how its so hard to choose vegetables over snacks. It makes me so frustrated and I try to purge but I probably can't even get 1/8 out without feeling sick.
It kills me. The thought that it's all my fault. I can't blame the food or the people who produce it. I can't blame my family who are mentally healthy when it comes to eating. I can't blame my body for not having a proper digestive system. Because in the end, it's all because of me. Because I can't put down the bag of chips, because I can't control myself, because I don't exercise, because i'm fucking lazy and can't stay away from food. I'm so tired of myself.
uuuuuuugh its so frustrating, my body itches from within.

I guess I'll hit up the gym and stay in the sauna forever... hahhah jk about the sauna part :)
Hope everyone else isn't feeling as poopoo as i am.

5 comments:

  1. My mother is just the same! It's awful! Sometimes I wish she was anorexic with me!

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    1. Yesss, I wish! Or atleast healthy! but they all love snacks. urrrgh

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  2. I always think that too. That maybe I wouldn't eat as poorly if other people weren't around. But then I think about how bad my binges would be if other people weren't around! I hate eating in front of people more than I hate making excuses not to eat!

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    1. Same here. Thats why I always end up binging after everyones asleep :/ I've got to fix that habit. If I lived alone though, I probably would by anything since I dont go out much hehe

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  3. I totally know what you mean. Everyone in my family eats shit and its so hard to say no when they're eating!
    Stay strong beautiful <3

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