Tuesday, March 19, 2013

What am I doing?

Do any of you ever feel like that?
You look back and you notice you've just been repeating yourself everyday.

I've been constantly telling myself that 'I'll start dieting tomorrow!! So it's okay if I eat this today :)'
Everything has been going downhill and I haven't even noticed till I started looking at the progress I have made, which is none. Less than nothing to be exact. What am I doing and where am I going...

All this negativity is killing me inside.
I don't know what's real.
Am I pretenting that I have a problem? or am I pretending that I don't?
No one seems to notice so maybe it's my mind playing games on me.

gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh so many unanswered questions in my mind
I'm so confused, what am I supposed to do when I have nowhere to go in life
i just want to break down
but im scared no one will care

i'm so sorry for so many negative posts lately


  1. I feel like that a lot, that I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going.
    You do have a problem. Your mind is playing games with you by trying to convince you you don't.
    If you need to break down, break down. Cry if you need to. Is there anyone you can call to talk to? Don't leave these emotions bottled up, get them out if you can.
    <3 xx

  2. I can relate a lot, I was just thinking last night that everyday I say "tomorrow will be better" but tomorrow never is because I say that every day. Time is getting away and the changes we want need to start now, at least for me.
    I feel like all of my life that I devote to obsessing over food means nothing when I stay the same weight, so I must be like everyone else... but I doubt everyone else goes through all this..
    Don't apologise for the negative posts, sometimes things are just negative. I hope things are better for you soon, take care <3
    Alice xx

  3. People don't notice because everyone else is so consumed in their own problems or ignoring them that they don't pay much real attention to anyone. It's hard to find real people these days that care about anyone else. Whenever I have days like you describe, WHAT AM I DOING? Ugh! I think to myself, what can I do to help lighten the load of another person? Then I go an serve them. That way, it makes me feel good inside & at least temporarily I forget my own worries. Stay strong!

  4. In treatment they told us that one reason we shouldn't diet is because it would lead to exactly what you say is happening- you plan on depriving yourself so you binge before you have to. And it becomes a cycle. Of course, that didn't deter many of us.
    People will care. Even if you don't think they do they will. I've seen people break down before but I wasn't able to do anything and I still cared.
    If you need to break down let yourself. Ask for extra attention, get what you need so you can pick yourself and move on afterwards. Sometimes we just need a cry to be happy.