Little by little

I really love receiving comments from you all<3 It feels so good to be able to share these emotions and you guys understand and accept me. Thanks :)

I'm going to keep this post positive. I haven't had a bad binge in a few days, which is a big step for me now since lately i've been out of control. BUT now i've been taking little steps. My 'binges' are getting smaller everyday. I probably wont be able to get as skinny as I used to be a few months ago by the time I get to my boyfriends house but I'll be staying there for a month and that should REALLY stop me from binging cause I can't look like a pig in front of his family ^_^ I'm trying not to care so much about what he'll think of my weight gain, because i've strictly told him how serious I was that I have gained weight from the last time he's seen me(4 months ago). So i've decided to take little steps to loosing weight and soon enough I hope I'll be able to fast again without having it end with a binge :)

Think thin<3

Skinny girls look good in anything;

These thought; Is it just me?

When I did the Cabbage Soup Diet

Sometimes I'll read online about eating disorders since i've never really been diagnosed. And as I read about it, it makes me want to diet even more. It gives me a sense of motivation. I thought that this was because I want an excuse. I want some excuse to why I binge and purge frequently. Why I can't control myself. So reading about ED makes me want to purge even more. Not because I WANT to have an eating disorder, but because I want a reason to why I'm like this. To why food and weight loss have taken over my life. So i'm scared that If I don't have the symptoms, I'd just be a fat girl who can't control what she's eating and doesn't deserve to be here.


I used to be in control. I don't know whats happened...

This is brilliaaaant!

I'm always bored and it triggers me to binge, so i've tried a few things before to try to keep me occupied.

For example:

• Crochet
• Watching Law & Order
• Staying in bed
• Go for walks

None of them really lasted... ugh

BUT, wait just once second.

Today I was looking through thinspo pictures and imagining myself with there bodies and my mind just clicked. *bink

Why don't I edit my face into their bodies! bahahah so I've been doing that for the past 4 hours! And I thought I'd show you guys one of my favorites hehe I cannot stop giggling. I think I did a pretty good job. ;)

Fighting

I am currently fighting of the urge to eat right now. My mind is just teasing me with the thoughts of the foods I could be eating. I'm not even hungry though.

No more binging for me. I've got a few weeks before I visit my boyfriend and his family and I've got to look good. Great.  I can control. Not the other way around.

Inhale.
Exhale.


Think thin.

Just let it be.

Yes, she is pretty. I don't have anything against people who don't mind being overweight or anything that isn't in my definition of skinny or fit! What I really dislike seeing is people dissing 'underweight' girls or girls who are just naturally thin. I mean really? 'Stick thin girl'? Just because others like being thin or being healthy, doesn't mean you have to go around calling them names which seems to intend on offending them. I don't see why people get so bitter about thin girls. From experience, it's not so easy becoming thin! Why can't they get some credit for actually working to be thin?

If someone wants to be skinny, let them be.
If someone wants to be big, let them be.
If someone wants to be fit, let them be.
If someone wants to be masculine, let them be.

Just fucking let them be what they want.

(By the way, as pretty as she is, I don't call that curvy but that's another story.)



So other than that ^^ My day was content. I fasted for 2 days and ended it today since I ended up eating something, but I dont feel as bloated as I usually do so I'm just going to stay positive! I remember seeing on tv that thinking positive while dieting or losing weight is good. Don't loose track though! Some thinspo for today:

Okay-ish Day

I've had nothing to eat today. I feel bad though because my mom bought some fruits for me, but I just can't eat it. I'm doing a fast with an ana buddy so I can't betray her! : )
I'm always so anxious when im fasting! The first day I always still feel soooo fat and I just want it to be the 4th day or something so I can see some progress. Also I have this ring I always wear that I got from my birthday and I always keep it on to make sure It'll come off = I havent gotten fat. This morning I woke up and I couldn't get it off. UGH probably because my recent binges. Right now I can get it off but its more difficult than it usually is.
Hopefully I stick to this fast for once! Good luck to me and anyone else who's fasting or dieting and don't loose track! ^_^

Here's some thinspiration for today.

I've done it before

Last year I at about a piece of bread per day and got to 95 pounds. If I've done it before, I can do it again. I just need to control myself like I did before! I dont need the apple pie thats in the fridge or the chips in the basket!! >: ) This time though I don't want the bread, just water!
Wish me luck!!
Some photos to keep me on track!